Teaching Parenthood

It was with mixed feelings last week that I heard reports of a government initiative to give parenting the  the fruit and vegetable five a day overhaul. Should my tax money be going to fund high level pointers into how to bring up my children? Should governments even be getting involved to this level of detail in peoples everyday lives? Who are they to be tell us how to bring up our children?

The problem is that on reflection they probably have a point. Bringing up children is bloody hard work. Like playing golf, being the best always seems a few steps away. Constantly beating yourself up, are we being too hard on them, too soft, playing with them too much or too little, too pushy or too laid back? So actually any guidance is probably useful. Five quick steps to double check that you have done your best for your kids that day are not going to hurt anyone, even if they may not necessarily add anything. The issue I still had is whether the funding that went into developing this is the best use of tax layers money.

And then one looks at the events of this week, those involved in the riots and the looting are often incredibly young. The first question that comes into mind is where are the parents? What parent would not know where their offspring was at 9,10 or 11 at night. And then one lands at  the root of the problem, this social group that has been created with little parental guidance. The group with no parental role models, no parental respect and therefore little respect for authority, rules or the community. The benefits culture creates a reliance on others, a culture of dependance where it is easy to see everything as someone elses fault.

Solutions will focus on those bits that are more easily controlled. Pumping money into youth projects to create community identification, creating extra jobs and opportunities for a group of people who are from environments where no one in their family has worked. Blaming teachers for not teaching social responsibility. And yet they miss the underlying issue. Ultimately everyone's child is a reflection of their parent. Some children go off the rails as they grow up but core values are taught within the family circle.

Of course getting those 5 steps to successful parenthood from those who are constantly looking for better ways to improve their children's upbringing to those who have no idea where their children are at 11pm is more difficult. Launching it on radio four as they did last week just may not do the trick...